Empaths are emotional, gentle and super nurturing people. They feel the very soul of a person and have a strong desire to help others. They have the ability to feel another person’s pain and emotional hurt which can be both a blessing and a curse. A narcissist is the opposite, lacking the ability to feel emotions or care about anyone else. They are able to copy and fake emotions in order to get their own way and they play the victim well which triggers a response in the empath to help them, feel sorry for them and keep them in a cycle of torment. This can be very difficult to break free from.
So often I hear stories of women struggling to recover from a breakup because their ex simply can’t let go and the empath who is broken-hearted, hangs on to the possibility they may reunite. However, it’s not a case of the ex not being able to let go, it’s because they won’t. You are one of their possessions that they own and they will not let you go easily, even when they have moved on to another relationship you could end up being their focus of attention for a very long time. It will be entirely up to you if you continue to be a ‘supply’ to them or if you are ready to let go of them. It may not even be the case that you realise you are in a toxic cycle with your ex but if you are in a back and forth relationship with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself one minute then pretends to ‘rescue’ you the next, then chances are you are in a toxic relationship.
If you know you are in a toxic bond with someone, then consider taking control back for your own peace of mind. You will never win with them or make them see the light or change them so the easiest way to deal with it is no contact. No contact will cut their supply and stop you from being in the fight or flight mode waiting for their text or phone call.
The narc likes you to follow their orders and if this has been a program running in you for a long time, it may be hard for you to go with your own decisions. Making decisions about your life will begin to build your self-worth back up but if you are not feeling up to it then find a trusted friend or therapist to run things by.
When you have to co-parent with a narcissist it’s a completely different ball game and you need to understand fully what you are dealing with. The best place to start is to understand how they work. Being one step ahead will allow you to feel in control which will, in turn, stop you from falling into their traps or feeling like you are going crazy. You will have to really understand them and how they work in order to co-parent without too much agony.